#107: Don't make customers punch in their account number just for the hell of it

I'm not even going to say "Don't make people talk to a computer" when they call their credit card company, their insurance company, Dell Computer, etc. That is clearly just too much to ask. But I will say:

1. Don't force people to speak to voice recognition systems if they don't wish to. First of all, there may be Big Ears around and customers may not wish for Big Ears to know that their bacterial vaginosis is back. More important, for some reason no company seems able to program its computers to comprehend "Fuck you!" - even when it's shouted over and over again and accompanied by a banging of the telephone handset.
   
2. Don't say, "For quicker service, please enter your 24-digit account number followed by your social security number and your grandmother's bra size," and then (after the customer has repeatedly punched O - O- O) have your minimum wage automaton come on the line to demand - you guess it - the customer's account number, social security number, and grandmother's bra size. If you're going to request the info up front, then figure out a way to use it!