#56: Don't sit on your fat ass and repeatedly yell at your kid to "Stop it!"

Lady, there's a reason wee Caitlin won't do a goddamned thing you tell her to do, and that's because she knows that her mother is a lazy turd and that no matter how many times Mommy starts counting backwards from five or declares, "Do that one more time, and we're leaving," she's basically never going to budge her useless flesh and nip the misbehavior in the bud.

So the rest of us get to listen to "Stop it, Caitlin!" "Caitlin!" "No, Caitlin!" "I said stop running, Caitlin!" "Caitlin, if you don't stop that -- okay, we're going home. I mean it." "Caitlin!" "Five . . . four . . . three . . . two . . ."

And secretly Caitlin is giving Mommy the finger--and she deserves it.