Have you ever noticed how the world would be such a better place if people just did what we wanted them to do--or didn't do what we didn't want them to do? My List of Don'ts is my humble attempt to improve the world I live in. Perhaps it will improve your world as well.

The CARDINAL DON'T: Don't be such a fucking pussy!

Saturday, February 9, 2008

#29: Don't blow your nose repeatedly when you're in the company of others


Son, I do appreciate the fact that you carry Kleenexes in your backpack. That puts you way ahead of so many of your brethren who are content to sniff incessantly or use their sleeve (or, god forbid, do the old knuckle-against-one-nostril trick and expel their mucus into the winds). But when you have blown and blown, at some point you have to accept the fact that sucker ain't coming out by polite means. It's time for you to excuse yourself, go find some privacy, and do what you need to.

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