#122: Don't be a turd to the people you hope will buy your shit

Some of us, I guess, are just blessed with insights into the subtle nuances of human psychology. And some of us, it seems, need to be told things like this: "Don't be a fucking asshole to the very people you hope will come back time and again to buy your crappy little product." For example, just now I went to purchase a soda, and for some reason the change machine would not take my $5 bill. But ho! Right next door was the two-bit mom-and-pop snack bar, where I have (albeit somewhat reluctantly) been known to purchase a tuna sandwich or some cheese and crackers. So I asked the woman, would she kindly take my $5 bill - which was not mint condition, but was certainly still fine currency - and give me one of her $5 bills. That's all I asked. I didn't even ask for her quarters. Her answer: "No." I just stared at her and held her gaze for a minute. Then I left. I will never buy her mushy tuna sandwich or cheese and crackers again. And, I mean, fuck you, lady! I don't care that you're old and wear a hairnet - don't be a short-sighted bitch.

It reminds of a time one of my faithful readers encountered a similar situation. She went to one of these little postal stores and asked for a few of the FedEx envelopes because she needed to mail something. The FREE FedEx envelopes. Her told her . . . no - in a very pissy manner, at that. Had he been a gentleman, he could have made a customer for life. Instead she will never go in there again, and she's spreading the bad word about him.

Well done, people! Someday the only people eating your crappy tuna sandwiches and mailing letters out of your office will be YOU.