#4: Don't let your dog bark incessantly

If your dog barks incessantly, then he is lonely and bored, and you are a jerk. A corollary to this "Don't" is don't get a dog for any reason other than a desire to love him and play with him. A dog that's tossed in the backyard to howl 24/7 is hardly going to alert the neighbors if a real boogie man shows up to throttle you.

And now this in from The Onion News . . .
http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/barky_dog_just_going_bark?utm_source=onion_rss_daily