Have you ever noticed how the world would be such a better place if people just did what we wanted them to do--or didn't do what we didn't want them to do? My List of Don'ts is my humble attempt to improve the world I live in. Perhaps it will improve your world as well.

The CARDINAL DON'T: Don't be such a fucking pussy!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

#156: Don't buy dry pasta without shaking the bag

Shake that bag and give it a good look - to see if THERE ARE LITTLE BLACK BUGS CRAWLING INSIDE! Awwww . . . it's the most awful sight to see - it makes my head itch thinking about it. But it is better to see weevils at the grocery store than it is to dump the bag of pasta into your pot of boiling water and see the little bastards attempting to swim to the stainless steel shore.

The first time I ever encountered weevils, years ago, I was told they can infiltrate a grocery store and be very difficult to eliminate. I have come to the conclusion that Randall's on 34th has such a problem. I now check the pasta carefully before buying. One day when I saw weevils running up and down a bag of some nice Italian linguini, I went and told the manager. I don't think the knew WTF I was talking about.

Don't let it happen . . . to you.

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