Have you ever noticed how the world would be such a better place if people just did what we wanted them to do--or didn't do what we didn't want them to do? My List of Don'ts is my humble attempt to improve the world I live in. Perhaps it will improve your world as well.

The CARDINAL DON'T: Don't be such a fucking pussy!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

#124: Don't do all the things listed below

  • Don't come in late to class every day.
  • And every day sit in the front-and-center row of a 100-student classroom.
  • And every day squeeze your way down the narrow aisles and rows while class has already started.
  • THEN, 30 minutes later, every day haul your ponderous ass back up, squeeze your way up the narrow rows and aisles, to go to the toilet.
  • And every day re-enter the classroom, squeeze your way back down the narrow aisles and rows to your front-and-center seat, while 99 students frown at you and decide you are mad.
And don't think you can cover up the blat of your explosive diarrhea by repeatedly coughing. Yeah, sister - I was in there. I heard.

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